DirtyBean

2005-08-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

Secret Self.

I've been married for 3 years and 2 months now...one of the very first things I did after coming home from my honeymoon was change my name on everything. But for some reason, Qwest (phone company) keeps refusing to change my name. I've called them at least 2 times and checked the box 'change of name/address' somewhere around 6 times.
Two days ago I happened to see my maiden name in the phone book. It was like a jolt. Here is my lost self. Hiding. Saying, "Remember me, old friend?" Ok...it didn't really 'talk' to me because if it was going to talk it would say something more like..."Who the hell are you?!"
I've changed so much in the last 3+ years...Since seeing that line in the phone book, a nagging feeling has stuck with me for the last few days. Kindof like a secret-self is hiding somewhere in me. A more free, independant self. Someone who went through so many experiences to become.
When I got married and changed my name, that self became lost. Lost to become a wife, student, mother, teacher...I never thought I would be a stay-at-home-mom.
But after having my son, I knew, being a mom to him was my number one job....everything else will just have to wait. And I think, I'm ok with that.

2005-08-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

2005-08-06T11:13:00.001-07:00

Ahhh...
The Many Shades of Good.

"That was too good!"
..."that's good right?!"
"No, that's bad."

2005-08-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

I'm Back!!!

2005-03-30T14:52:00.000-08:00

It is time...

As I've mentioned, I started another blog that I will try and combine the Soybean site with the Dirtybean site into one simple blog.
I want to say that I am hesitant to reveal this site because of my introduction. I should just go back and delete the quoted swear words ;) but, I'll going to leave it as is. After all, this is my place to write openly, right. Right.
This new blog has catagories you'll notice on the left hand side. "Me!"-are entries about me. "That Boy"-are entries about Nick being a bit of a monster. Ect...
You can click on "ABout" to read my profile. If I didn't add your blog to Fabulous Men/Women, let me know and I'll add it.
Ok, here goes: http://thelawofma.typepad.com

2005-03-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

Here's the Deal...

I haven't been posting much because last week Shawn was home and I spent most of my time with him or Spring Cleaning...The start of this week, Shawn decided he wanted to clear off our computer completely and reinstall everything. Unfortunetly, it is taking more time than we thought it would take. Right now I am installing updates that will take until 1 am. And then, we get to install our disks with pictures, files ect... It's been such a pain in the butt.
Also, I am trying something out...I have a 30-day free trial of Typepad.com where I am converting my two blogs into 1. This weblog has catagories that you make up. For instance, I can name a catagory, Nick...and if I click on the Nick link it will bring up every post about Nick I've written. You can have as many catagories as you want and you get to name them! Typepad is a lot more confusing compared to blogger, but it gives you more freedom/choice when setting up a weblog. Once I get the hang of it, I think I'll love it. Right now, I'm just frusterated with anything and everything computer related. I feel completely computer illerate right now.
Nick is on a biting/temper tantrum kick. And I have no idea what to do about it...Any advice? PLease! What do you do when a 12-month old bites you? What do you do when they throw a temper tantrum?-Ignore it?!
Anyway...School starts in 3 more days. Yikes.

2005-03-20T19:29:00.000-08:00

It's almost time!

Yes...it's almost time! I've been waiting for this night for 3 or MORE weeks!
Tonight, in a mere 21 minutes is, Desperate Housewives!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, Moses!
I love this show! "LOVE IT!"
Ok, I have to go, climb onto the couch and laugh at Shawn when he says, "What movie do you want to put in."

2005-03-17T08:36:00.000-08:00

Florida.

I had the opportunity to join my Aunt-Babe, Lars and Miranda on a trip to Fort Myers, Florida. We would leave Saturday and Mir and I would fly home on Thursday. It would cost a total of $140. That's it, $140.
I really thought about it.
For instance, Nick's 1st Birthday Party is on Saturday meaning it would have to be moved up to Friday evening.
Shawn had the entire week off of work & school-so, he could stay home and 'bond' with Nick.
I was ready to go.
But, I didn't.
I called Mir and said, no.
Instead, I get to spend a whole week with Shawn and Nick. I don't think Shawn and I have had an entire week together since................... our honeymoon! So, I am really looking forward to this :)
Shawn passed a v difficult written test and physical given by the military and he found out yesterday that HE PASSED! That means he'll make staff sargent before he goes over to Iraq in May!!! He was so happy :) and I am so proud of him.
He took Nick & I out to Olive Garden to celebrate. Some older-much older women flirted with Nick! Which kept him busy ;) Although he was still a handful. It's getting much harder to take him out to eat with each passing day. He is just so busy and to make him sit down at one place for longer than 5 minutes is near impossible.
We even completed our taxes and guess what...We don't owe money. This is the v first year that we will be getting money back!

2005-03-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Monday.

First whole day back. It took some getting used to...I didn't want to go anywhere except to Nick's helmet check-which was more negitive than postitve. He said that Nick has a long way to go. I was thinking he was half way or more done. Nick's head looks great. It is perfectly round. I hate that guy.
Anyway...I'm sitting at home wishing I had the energy to get up and take Nick to a coffee place. But, I lack energy and we two sit about with nothing to do but scream. UNTIL! I happen to pass by the window and see Jess getting out of her car! I duck onto my hands and knees and fast as possible I try to pick up as much as I can. Jess came over and brought hot chocolate! And I had adult conversation in the middle of the day and it wasen't with the bagger and the grocery store. What a great day. Nick even napped about a half hour into her visit! After that, we drove to my mom's and borrowed her vaccum and cleaned our place all before Shawn came home with pizza for dinner :)

2005-03-13T21:05:00.000-08:00

Pictures!

Some pictures of this weekend are located at: http://soybeanadventures.blogspot.com

2005-03-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

Stress-Free

This weekend was amazing! I absolutely LOVED our room. It had a huge whrilpool, fireplace, deck overlooking a v frozen lake, huge bed, kitchen, and seperate sitting area. They provided free wine, chocolates, popcorn, movie, Primerib dinner Saturday night and full breakfast buffet Sunday morning. Shawn and I had a blast renting movies (Oceans 12, Closer, Sideways, The Incredibles), going into town, drinking wine...ok, just me drinking the wine, walking out in the cold, listening to Eric Clapton in the truck, eating...eating....and more eating! Calling to check up on Nick one hundred times, going shopping for winter gear that it turned out we didn't need, watching t.v. and playing, "...In bed." For example, Take a line from a funny commerical and say after the line, "...in bed." What else...going to the bathroon in peace! Taking a ton of whrilpool baths, Curling up on a huge chair in front of the fire with a good magazine.
We got Nick a Easter present but couldn't resist giving it to him early. It is a stuffed, goofy looking duck with a long neck that Shawn got to name...Pudgy Quackers.
Transitioning into the same-old-same-old is difficult. It was so easy to go from being Parents/Students/Workers/Husband/Wife to just being Husband/Wife. Going back to normal is harder than I thought.
Our weekend was stress-free (once we arrived) and that was the best gift of all.
Thanks Pam and Daryl! :)

2005-03-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

IRONY...This sign was posted in front of a skating rink for kids on Gull Lake :)

2005-03-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

The road finally cleared on our way to Craguns. Prior to this, the roadway was completely covered with gusts of twirling snow. Thanks to my father-in-law who borrowed us his awesome truck, we narrowly avoided a huge accident.

2005-03-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Dad!

Ahhh...by the sappy title I'll bet you think this is about how wonderful my dad is, huh! Well, he is, except for him cursing me last night.
He said, "Just don't get crabby tomorrow!"
Well, it's tomorrow and boy o' boy am I crabby. But, it's one of those, I know once I drop off my demon~like child I will get over it!
It all started with me jumping out of bed this morning to make Nick a bottle only to realize I've been stabbed and I am bleeding to death with every step I take. Oh Wait!...it's just my period. I make a bottle and beg my Husband to wake up and feed Nick.
Ok, not so much as 'beg', more like toss Nick on the bed with the bottle and run away saying, "I'm bleeding!"
Shawn made Nick cream-of-wheat, while I made Nick the last egg. While Shawn was leaving I surveyed the kitchen mess and here is when I really started to get crabby. Every EVERY EVERY morning while Nick is napping I have to scrub the kitchen clean which involves: dishes, scrub counters, put things away, sweep floor! Then, I can jump into the shower. Sometimes. It's not just Shawn messing the kitchen....it's both of us. I just can't comprehend how the two of us can be so messy in a short span of time.
OK...after breakfast and gettting Nick dressed for the day, we are off to Walgreens to develop pictures of Shawn & I for Nick to have at G'ma/pa Kallevigs this weekend. Nick is a nightmare in the store. At one point I really wanted to walk out of the store and put Nick in the car and then go back in and continue to buy a few items. So, I am at the check out lane and realize I forgot my wallet back in the car. I run out and get it, and suddenly there is a long-ass line and I have to wait...holding Nick and he is getting so heavy. My arms are about to snap when finally it's my turn!
Back at home, I pack Nick's things up while he un-packs his things. No problem. I completely excepted this :)
Nick is now napping and I have cleaned the kitchen, took a shower, took out the garbage, and found directions!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Ok. Only 3 hours and 15 minutes before we attempt to leave!
I really am going to miss Nick so much. I'm glad we are far enough away that I won't sneak out in the middle of the night and go and get him. I know he'll be just fine.

2005-03-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

$80

I spent $80 on nothing...well, not 'nothing.' It's more like I spent $80 to waste 3 hours of my time and end up with weird bangs. Don't cha just LoVe my blonde hair...Oh WAiT, WAIT....It's not blonde. I can hardly see the difference. I know, I can call and have it fixed BUT not in time for my 1st weekend away with my Husband since Aug of 2003. :( I cried. Sorry, Jess. I cried on the way to pick up Nick....and as soon as Jess said, "Do you feel glamorous!" She was awesome and said that she could see a big change.
I felt so stupid for crying. There are much MUCH worse things in the world to cry about than hair! I am going to blame this on PMS, because I can ;) and that's one of the best things about being a woman! I called a daycare today v v close to my house. My mom knows the woman and I've met her several times. She hasen't called back, yet. Not a good sign. It would be so convient to only drive less than 5 minutes to drop off/pick up Nick each day.

2005-03-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

Playing dress-up with my law enforcement clothes

2005-03-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

Barenaked.

By the title of this post you may be expecting something more...
Barenaked is the name of my first doll. I loved her so much and I would carry her everywhere...by her hair. Until only a tuft of hair was left on her little head. I absolutely detested clothing on her and so she was always naked which earned her the name, Barenaked. My creative Gramps once hot glued a wig with lots of long beautiful black hair onto her head. I hated it and he took it off.
My Grandparents are babysitting her for the time being :)

2005-03-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

Ms.Barenaked, Circa 1983

2005-03-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

Me & My Auntie Babe (Jag)

2005-03-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

Last Chances

Looks like I missed my last chance to get out of skills this summer. So, I am going to be smart and finish school. It is only 8 weeks out of my entire life, right. I just really really really HATE to put Nick in daycare. Except right before his morning nap when he was hysterical. I thought to myself, "Self...remember this moment when it is time to drop Nick off at daycare and you'll be able to drive far far away to school a bit happier."

2005-03-05T01:54:00.000-08:00

MY Biggest Pet*Peeve

I absolutely can't stand it when grown women say they have to ask their boyfriend/husband IF they can do something. Come on. It's a different story if you are letting them know you are going to do whatever and get their input...but ASK them If you can go?! What is this...1950?

Wife/Girlfriend: Oh that sounds like so much fun! I can hardly wait! Just let me go ask my Husband!
Wife/Girlfriend: Hunny, can I pretty please go out with the girls tonight?! I promise I'll be good. Oh, please!
Husband/Boyfriend: Well, I would really rather you stayed in tonight just like last night and the night before and the night before. You don't really want to go out, do you?
Wife/Girlfriend: No, I didn't really want to go out. I'll just blow off my friends YET AGAIN.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

2005-03-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

And I Even Shaved My Legs!

Today has been a never ending busy, busy day. Nick and I did make it to Michaels for supplies. I did make a ton of feet and hand prints of Nick's using red, green and blue paint. I did successfully keep him from eating even a drop of paint. Although he did try! I did let Nick make his very own finger-paint masterpiece. I did give my green, blue and red boy a bath. I did frame a few of the prints and hang 1 up. And I did dress Nick up in a suit to deliever one or two prints to my mom at work. I did follow my boy all around the police station, while HE showed himself off ;)
I did buy and paint the letters: N I C K in red, green and YES, blue to hang in Nick's room. The letters are about a foot high. I did manage to go grocery shopping and make Nick and I three-cheese tortellini with alfrado sauce and potatoe bread. I did cut out 8 prints of Nick's hands and feet that I will attach to string and clothespins to span half of his room.
And, YES I even shaved my legs!!! (It's been a month or two overdue)
AND it's only 3:30. Ahhh, the days before Nick when I would lay around all day and sleep and play with my hair in the mirror. :)

2005-03-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

Humor?

Me: "Shawn, do you think I'm a good mom?"
Shawn: "No."
Me: "What?!"
Shawn: (pauses... still pausing...slowly turns head towards me, and smiles) "Yes."
Leah: "Ok, that was funny."

Shawn and I have been together since 2000...and it's 2005 now. I sat down yesterday and without putting in much effort in thinking, I know SHOCKING, I figured we've been together for 3.5 years or so. Then, when I actually thought about it, I realized it's going on 5 years now.
I can't believe it. Time goes by so fast. I remember the old people saying that after you graduate, time flies by. The old people are right.
:)

2005-03-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

Dr. Phil

Did anyone see Dr. Phil yesterday? I know Jess didn't!
Dr. Phil is a God. ;)
When he first same out, I didn't want anything to do with watching him...but, over time I got sucked in and then, I became a believer!
I wish I taped yesterdays show.
It was that good.

2005-03-01T12:20:00.000-08:00

The 9th @ 9

I have a hair appt...March 9th at 9am...babysitter wanted :)
This works out well because I'll have managable hair for Shawn & my weekend get-a-way on the 11th!!! I am so v excited.

2005-02-28T00:58:00.000-08:00

Hey, Mom...Do you wanna come over?

I have not done the dishes or cleaned our kitchen in 2 days. Do you know what happens in just 2 days!!! I have the biggest mess and I don't feel like doing it. Ahhh...the days when I lived at home and I would make a mess and by morning, it would be cleaned by SuperMom after she worked a 12-hour shift.
I don't understand how the kitchen can get so messy in such a short amount of time. I blame my husband ;)

2005-02-26T20:23:00.000-08:00

BOREDOM

Bad
Oops!
Right
Elephant
Dawn
Orange
Mango

I am v v bored. Nick is sleeping. Shawn is still working hard/hardly working-but not home.
CSI is on, but I like CSI-SVU the best and that doesn't come on until 9pm.
The house is clean, dishes are done.
I am still bored.
Bored,
bored,
BORED!
Are you bored reading this, yet?
I wish I was able to make it into work for my internship the other day...I was sick, tired and in desperate need to be free of Nick for a few hours. My not going is ranking on my top 10 BIGGEST REGRETS LIST!
KEELy is back from Chicago!!! (my sis) I've missed her so much. She's my shopping-buddy.

2005-02-25T12:43:00.000-08:00

Last Night.

Instead of popping in a DVD last night, Shawn & I reminisced about way back in the day when we first met, first started dating ect...
I had a blast. I love listening to anothers' perspective on the same shared memory. We talked from 7:30 until 11:30. And he didn't fall asleep until 12:30ish. I stayed up wide awake and sick. If I lay down, I start coughing and don't stop until I get back up. We got to sleep in, too...Until 6:20!

2005-02-24T06:49:00.000-08:00

Nescafe Frothe
Enchanting Vanilla

I am addicited. Yes, it's true. I am addcitied to Nescafe Frothe and before you go running out to buy some for yourself, just know that you can NEVER STOP once you start. It is so good. It pops your eyes open in the morning and gets you up and running. For me being the mother of an 11-month-old that's important. GOD, doesn't that sound like a commercial line! I should let them know I'm an aspiring actress and would LOVE to do their commerical.
Ok, being serious now...when you buy it, make sure to fill your cup up about 1/3 with the mix. Don't use 3 tbs!!!
Guess What...Jess and I (and Nick) are going to Target this morning. And I am going to clean out their supply of Frothe's. :)

2005-02-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

2 Blogs.

It's hard to keep up 2 blogs. This blog is pertaining mostly to me and my life. Whereas, my other blog (http://soybeanadventures.blogspot.com) is mostly for and about my son.
My life is pretty boring right now and at the same time I am running my butt off-not literally although I wish I was.
I am doing an internship with the Duluth P.D. on Mondays & Fridays and then waitressing at Billy's Bar Sunday mornings. That leaves being a stay-at-home-slave to my 11 month old son Saturdays and Tuesdays-Thursdays.
I just started at the Bar and as Paris would say, "Love It!" I like being busy and using my brain at the same time. When I'm home, I'm busy...but, I'm not using my brain.
School starts soon...April. And I am dreading it. I wish I could fast forward to July and finally be done. After working with Family Crimes, I can't wait to be a cop. At the end of the day and Nick is asleep, I wish I could stay home and have a-ba-zillion more. I love being a mom. I love working. I have NO IDEA how or if I want to do both.
Today Jess came over for a few hours while her boys went sledding. We bakes cookies, talked, laughed and rearranged my furniture. It was a great day. I am utterly exhausted. Good Night!

2005-01-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Jesus!

Jesus, the cat, is gone. He went back to his original home. He'll be much more happier there. Nick was always after his tail. And Jesus was always trying to escape. It's tough climbing 13 stairs with a 30# baby in your arms and bags of groceries (or whatever) only to open the door and have Jesus run past you!

2005-01-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

Nick. My SON! I must be the Proudest Mom EVER!

2005-01-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

Temporary helmet*head

2005-01-21T11:38:00.000-08:00

YES! YES! YES!

2005-01-20T13:02:00.000-08:00

White Grape Juice, Anyone?

Leah: "Nick dropped his juice."
Shawn: : "He has juice?"
Leah: "Ya, didn't you buy it at the store the other day?"
Shawn: "Cherry...What's this?"
Leah: "White Grape."
Shawn: "We have white grape? SHOW ME!"
Leah: pulls juice out from fridge
Shawn: "That's not good juice...That juice is BAD."
Shawn: grabs juice and washed out container
Leah: "What...Is there mold?"
Shawn: "You didn't really give this to him, did you?"
Leah: "Ya, at lunch and then right before you got home. Why, is it moldy?"
Shawn: shakes head...laughes.
Family: Sits around table...Shawn is still laughing
Leah: "What!"
Shawn: "That's not juice in there."
Leah: "What are you talking about..."
Shawn: "This morning I had to go to the bathroom really bad and and you were in the bathroom. I had to go so bad, I was doing the pee dance waiting for you to get out...I couldn't hold it anymore...SO, I thought the best place to go was in the empty container cause it was the closest thing to me. The sink was filled with dishes. (pause) It's PEE in the container.
Leah: "HA HA...no really, what was in there?"
Shawn: "Pee."
Leah: "No really...WHAT WAS IN THERE?"
Shawn: "My pee. Nick just drank my pee! Thank God pee is sterile. Don't cha' remember, Dodge Ball?" (Dodge Ball is a movie we recently saw)
Leah: "What if it's not your own pee...Is it still sterile?"
Shawn: "Ya...But it probably doesn't taste as good as your own."
Leah: "What!...Why have you tasted pee before?"
Shawn: "It wasn't my own. It happened when I was a little kid and I don't remember how or why. But I know it wasn't good. Did Nick really drink any of it?"
Leah: "Yes...half cup this morning and then I held the cup for him while he was busy walking around this afternoon. I'm so glad I didn't test it out!"
Shawn: "Let's not tell him until he's very, very old."
Leah: "I am so going to blog this! Ohh...I'm gonna call my mom."
Shawn: "Don't."

***Disclaimer! We did not intentionally feed our son Shawn's urine. We really do love our boy. Shawn left the pee-filled container on the counter this morning and in my sleepy haze I put it back in the fridge while Shawn was walking Nick around the house. And I did the dishes!***

2005-01-20T12:58:00.000-08:00

4 Month Review
Ortho Evra

Is anyone else on, Ortho Evra? (Birth Control Patch) I have been on this for 4 months now...AND IT SUCKS! It falls off! Constantly! What kind of protection is that? If I put the patch anywhere other than my butt, I get sick and throw up. But, if it's on my butt, the patch gets caught on my panties or jeans and comes off. I do not recommend this at all.

2005-01-20T10:11:00.000-08:00

Jesus.

2005-01-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

We're Spinning!

2005-01-19T11:05:00.000-08:00

Just Call Him, 'Jesus.'

We have a new addition to our family...my sister's cat. He's name is Puddytree Astro-Donkey Taylor, but you can just call him, 'Jesus.'
Why, "Jesus?"
Well, one of my new years resolutions was to quit swearing in front of Nick or within his earshot...and I've done very well. All except for using the Lords name in vain every chance I get. For some reason, I can't stop using that. It comes out automaticly before I can stop it.
Really. For instance, Nick will step on our cat's paw and simultaneously pull poor Jesus's tail and I will shot, "JEsus!"
Or Nick will take a tumble and in the process of racing over to catch him I will shot, "JESUS! where's that cat."- Because I don't know what else to do. I can't stop saying, Jesus. SO...That's our new cat's nickname.

Victoria's Secret Boobs!

2005-01-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

The only advantage to a little bit of weight gain is boobs! I have boobs like I'm pregnant again ;) only I'm not. Once I finally get my act together and scrape up a little motivation to work out and lose the last of my 'baby weight', I will miss my new found breasts. It's too bad they can't stay. I'll just enjoy them while I got em'!

Who Would You Save?

2004-12-17T22:41:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago while feeding Nick in his almost dark room, I got to thinking...If someone grabbed my ankles from underneth Nick's crib, what would I do? Would I attempt to just kick myself free and run away? Or would I try to save Nick, too? Then I got to thinking...Wow, what a super mother I am or this to even be a choice for me!

2004-12-17T19:26:00.000-08:00

There is nothing in the world better than a sleeping baby...esp. when it's YOUR sleeping baby that woke up at 4am this morning!

FWD E-mail from Jess

2004-12-17T19:18:00.000-08:00

Titled: Questions That Really Need Answering...

And just the other day I was wondering who was the
first person to think about milking a cow.
No really. I'm serious.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze those dangly things and drink what ever comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of its butt"?
Why do people point at their wrist when asking the time but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

2004-12-12T14:25:00.000-08:00

SO, my son's crib sheet ripped and I did what anyother mother of a son would do...I made him a skirt! Don't mind Shawn on the toilet.

2004-12-12T11:31:00.000-08:00

My 8 mo old's latest trick!

2004-12-11T11:41:00.000-08:00

No really...He's smiling.

I think I'm going to throw up...

2004-12-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

My final for Mn Statutes is in 2 hrs and 1o min. I think I am going to throw up. I'm not prepared for it like I should be. Instead of studying earlier today...I watched old episodes of Sex and the City....AND ate almost an entire box of cookies.

2004-12-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

And Sometimes...

Life is so good. Sometimes you don't want the night to ever end. Sometimes you are walking on air. Sometimes you just want to sing and dance you are so happy. Sometimes you see what you have in another light, a better light. And sometimes is tonight.

Sometimes...

2004-12-05T19:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like the worst mom ever.
This evening Nick was crabby. Very very crabby. While making dinner, which requires A LOT of attention on my part, Nick screamed and screamed. I tried to entertain him while making dinner. I didn't do very well. I think he was not feeling well-maybe his teeth? By bedtime, trying to get Nick into his diaper and PJ's, while he screamed and struggled, I broke down and just cried. At least he stopped crying for a minute. I felt like such a failure. And then I noticed his fat lip. He fell forward while crawling on the kitchen floor and crying 10 minutes earlier...AND IT TOOK ME THAT LONG TO NOTICE. I finally reached bedtime. While putting Nick to bed, he was so sweet and loving and let me rock him in my arms for 3 mintues and then we snuggled until he fell asleep. It was the most wonderful feeling. Rocking Nick in my arms, snuggling him, listening to him breathe. I love my son more than anything in this world. It's just sometimes I feel like such a bad mom. And then Nick goes to bed and I feel a wonderful, peaceful feeling.

Sample Letter to my mom from my 'son' (me!)

2004-12-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Grammie Lu,
I MISS YOU.
Do you miss me?
Can I come over sometime this weekend WITHOUT my mommy. She seems to have seperation anxiety and it is really annoying me. Daddy has the whole weekend off and they would really like to have some of the sex.
I love you grammie Lu.
xoxoxo
Your ONLY grandson'Christian'

*Nick 'Christian' will be spending the night with G'ma Lu!!! So now Shawn and I can have all the sex!

My Calling...

2004-12-02T17:25:00.000-08:00

I have found my calling...sort of.
Shawn comes home from school and right about that time we look out the window...The big yellow Schwann's truck is in our driveway. I run out there and come back with cheese filled pretzels. It's like a mini corn dog, but not. I love these little morsels of heaven so much that I want to marry them, OR go on the 'MiniCheese Filled Preztel Diet'!

AsSHOle

2004-12-02T01:49:00.000-08:00

Our landlords 40 something year old son is an asshole. He lives in our apartment building and is in charge of things like upkeep and plowing snow...It's 1:30 and he finally got around to plowing the driveway. Instead of knocking on the door, calling or something...He thinks it's best to ring the doorbell 50 times WHILE NICK IS SLEEPING. I have already expressed in my soybean blog about how Nick must have an afternoon nap come hell or high water. Or he is very very cranky and falls asleep early and wakes up at 4am! I don't think I can do another morning begining at 4am. Ok...I know what to do...If Nick gets up at 4, I am going to go downstairs, outside and ring their doorbell 50 times. HA!

It's The Devil I Tell Ya'

2004-11-30T13:46:00.000-08:00

So my bestfriends brother-in-law is very very relgious to the point of 'freak.'
He seems to think that a kids movie is the devil and refuses to watch it. This kids movie was an obsessions of his not long ago. Something's go too far.

Misconceptions...

2004-11-28T11:17:00.000-08:00

One day, back when I was pregnant, I was watching The View. This woman came on and was talking about pregnancy and all the misconceptions. She did all this research and even wrote a book called, Misconceptions. While I had to have that book. I went right up to Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy. I went home and immediatly started reading it. Frist off, this book is absolutely depressing. If you are pregnant, please don't read it...wait until you are no longer pregnant. Hours later...my husband comes home to a hysterical sobbing wife who is convinced that our unborn child is mentally challenged. One of the chapters talked about how in ancient Chinease cultures, your unborn child absorbs all your bad traits. For example, If you pretend to be menally challenged with your cousin on the long drive up to school for fun, your child will then actully BE menally challenged. My son is now 8 months old and appears to be just fine, thank you very much anicent Chinease culture!

2004-11-25T19:18:00.000-08:00

Why I'll Make A Great Police Officer...
Reason #1, 234

While on our first annual Thanksgiving night walk, I am covering and uncovering my ears with my scarf because my ears are so cold, they are about to shatter and fall to the ground and I am trying to prevent this. Anyway, Because of the covering of my ears, I didn't hear it...I had no idea...When all of a sudden this enormous beast comes tearing behind me. I scream, "Oh My God!" And jumped into Shawn's shoulder, attempting to scramble up his back along with Nick. Seeing that my son is being so inconsiderate and not budging over, I duck over to Shawn's other shoulder and cling on tight. I look up at my strong handsome husband and say, "What was that!!!" He smiles down at me and says, "That was a dog," as he laughs at me. I then say, "And this is why I'll make a great cop." Turns out, the dog is a golden retreiver, without a tag-just a green collar, that dodges the tail end of fast moving cars. We slipped him some turkey and I am hoping he is on his way home. On a side note...I begged Shawn to keep him. I named him, Prince Charming.

2004-11-25T17:21:00.000-08:00

You are not going to believe this...SO I TOOK A PICTURE.

2004-11-23T20:02:00.000-08:00

"Hello, Family Crimes..."

Hello, family crimes...Hi...This is Leah again, I need to report myself again. While playing a new game I invented called, Roll the Can, (using an empty formula can, you roll it and chase it around) my son, Nick, found a slightly opened storage room door. I didn't want him to see all the wonderful things inside the room, so I closed the door. I looked down...Wait, is that a finger under the door? What the...? QUICK BRAIN OPEN THE DOOR! I open the door. Nick looks at his finger, looks at me and WAILS! I am a horrible mother who shuts her eight month old son's finger in doors. Take me away. I handcuffed myself for you to save time.
Family Crimes: This isn't my jurisdiction. Have a nice day!

6am-2pm

2004-11-23T20:00:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving I am starting a new tradition. Cooking. I know, I know...I am the worst cook in the whole entire world. Why do I feel the need to further push this truth onto my family? Am I trying to kill them? Yes, I have heard it all, mainly from my husband. Kidding.
Anyways, I talked to my mother-in-law about my plan. She said, "Ohhh wait...Here's a turkey...And bread(this happens to be the best bread in all the world)...And gravey in a can....And a pan-you've got to have a pan. Here I thought I could just throw the turkey into the oven racks. Really. And she gave me homemade frozen lefsa for my very Norweigian husband who must have lefsa on Thanksgiving. Wow, huh. I am practically set.
I did make note of the local grocery store being open on Thanksgiving Day from 6am until 2pm...JUST IN CASE. And I am buying frozen pizza's tomorrow, JUST IN CASE. Because we all know I CAN'T COOK!-and those pizza's will come in mighty handy.

My First Blog EVER

2004-11-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

http://soybeanadventures.blogspot.com

Gertie...Part TwO

2004-11-22T19:58:00.000-08:00

Remember how I told you about the relgious freak named Gertie who tried to come into my house and convert me?! And how I didn't open the door, I told her I was naked...Anyways, So it's Saturday, right, and I am trying to get my son to take a nap. Really trying. Hard. When I hear I knock at the door. Thinking it's the neighbors door, I ignore it. The knocking persists, and so I get out of bed with Nick in my arms and go to the door and ask who it is.
The voice answers back that it is John & Beth. (John was with Gertie last time...Gertie probably died. She sounded old. Come to think of it, she never talked...I don't know if there even was a Gertie.)
He says that I said to come back another time-I did. I am so bored and so not wanting to continue to try to get my son to sleep, that I open the door.
John says, "How long do you think Adam would have lived if he haden't committed a sin?"
Me, "uhhhhh, I don't know?"
John, "FOREVER! I know what your thinking, who wants to live forever with diseases and cancers and everything, right?"
Me, "I wasen't thinking that."
John goes on and on about What If Adam Haden't Committed a Sin.
Me, "But he did committ a sin...Get over it. Lets move on already."
John hands me liturature and pulls on my sons foot and talks baby to Nick.
Me...Shuts door, looks down and realizes my zipper is down. What a great day. I wish I haden't opened the door afterall.

2004-11-22T18:03:00.000-08:00

Talking around the dinner table at, Grandmas in Canal Park.

2004-11-22T18:00:00.000-08:00

Art.

For The Love of God

2004-11-19T16:46:00.000-08:00

Do not and I repeat, Do Not try Ginger Altoids. I grabbed perfectly good mints and while looking at the selection, I spotted, Ginger Altoids. Hmmmm, I thought and curiousity took over. I put back the perfectly good mints in my hands and picked up the Ginger Altoids. MISTAKE #1. I gave one to my sister just as I placed one in my mouth~MISTAKE #2 She gagged on the side of Target. I wish I had purged it out of me~Mistake #3
Bottom Line: DO NOT TRY GINGER ALTOIDS.

Quote for the Day...

2004-11-19T04:13:00.000-08:00

"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."

2004-11-18T17:36:00.000-08:00

Why I'll Make A Great Cop...Reason #34

I can't sleep with my foot hanging off the bed or even out of the covers. My simple logic: A monster will get it. I promise. Ever since I can remember, I can only fall asleep completely tucked in with all extremeties covered. There are times that I'll wake up and realize that, OH MY GOD MY FOOT IS HANGING OFF THE BED! And then my heart starts hammering and I start to freak out-without moving a muscle. I can't let the monster know that I know that my foot is off the bed.

2004-11-18T08:02:00.000-08:00

Dirty Pan

2004-11-18T07:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning when I woke up I was so hungery. I decided, EGGS! I will make eggs for my small little family. I get out the pan and put a dab of butter on it and walk over to the fridge. I pulled out the egg container and low and behold...There was 1 little egg left. I sigh, and place the egg container back in the fridge. I wipe out the butter with a clean paper towel and leave the pan on the stove.
This morning I put the pan away. Dirty. But, that's ok. Only I know it's dirty.

You KNOW you're getting your period when...

2004-11-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

You look in the mirror and look wider than you are long.
I can always tell that my period is on the way when I look into the mirror and think, How How did this happen?! How did I get so huge...overnight? Within 2 days, it's gone and I forget all about it...Until next month.

2004-11-08T19:29:00.000-08:00

I love these-books that didn't make the cut-I framed this print and the next picture of Baber the Elephant.

2004-11-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

How funny is this...Unless you are an elephant.

My Issue With GERTIE...

2004-11-08T13:02:00.000-08:00

Go Away Gertie...! I don't have time to talk religion with you. I am trying to get my son to take his afternoon nap. I don't like you knocking on my door. I don't like that I had to lie to you and say I was naked...can you come back another time...& you knock 3 minutes later. Didn't you hear Gertie??? I tried Judisiam Saturday night. It was a blast being Jewish and all, but I am not feeling it today. So leave me alone!

Saturday Night

2004-11-08T10:51:00.000-08:00

So I am a housewife/stay at home mom for the next 3 1/2 days-besides 2 hrs tomorrow when I have 1 class this week-what will I do with my time. I've already stayed up until the wee hours rearranging the furniture. Did the dishes. Cooked dinner last night....Do I have to cook everynight?! My only plans for the day are a Dr Appt for Nick at 3:15.
Shawn is sick...Nick is sick...Poor Boys.
Sorry, I am so boring today. I have nothing funny to write about. I could write about this last Saturday night...We all (Shawn, Nick and I) headed over to the Rajahs and Nick fell asleep on the couch right away while the rest of us got drunk. Shawn stopped early as he was the sober driver. I have not got drunk in 6 years. I'm not kidding. It was a blast. "Jewish" "Muslims" "Hot Dogs" "Delta Delta Delta...It makes your whole head sparkle!" comfy comfy couch, laughing and laughing and laughing, kettle corn, kettle corn, more refill please of kettle corn. Then, Shawn took sleeping Nick and I home. I put a pizza in the oven, but it didn't get touched. I did!
Finally Bed. I didn't even have a hang over the next day-although I was crabby having to get up at 1, 3 and for good at 5:45 with Nick. Ugh.
Funny Joke: So there are a bunch of Norweigians sitting around a card table drinking, a guy walked into the bar and noticed after every shot they'd yell, "84!" Finally the guy walked over to them and asked, Why do you keep yelling 84 after every shot. One of the Norweigians replied, It only took us 84 days to put together this puzzle and it says right on the box '2-4 years'!!!

3am

2004-11-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

3 am...Nick is up for the second time so far. Shawn and I take turns trying to get Nick back to sleep again and finally, finally he goes back to bed.Well we're up...Why not?!!!
Oh ya...I know why not! Stupid Stupid "Grown-Ups."

MaDnEsS!?!?

2004-11-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

Has our whole country gone MAD??? I can't even discuss or write about the election right now.

Forward Message. 'Too Sexy?'

2004-10-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

This message was forwarded to me from my mom:

When you feel like nobody loves you,
Nobody cares for you,
And everyone is ignoring you,
You should really ask yourself...........

Am I too sexy?

2004-10-28T21:31:00.000-07:00

Die!Camera!Die!

I am contemplating throwing my camera against the wall. I hate it. All of a sudden it takes dark pictures if it even takes pictures! It seems to work when it wants to work and that doesn't work for me, GOT IT! So, I think it is time for my camera to die. Because I have intent and I am premeditating, this will be considered Murder in the First Degree. Can you tell I just finished my Criminal Statutes Midterm???

Holy Shit...Not Iowa!

2004-10-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

Cargille asked Shawn to send in a resume for a co-op position. Ever since I heard Cargille has a ton of plants in Iowa, I've said...I'll live anywhere, BUT Iowa. Cargille asked Shawn where, if he could pick, that he would want to intern/coop in the US. Shawn puts down, The Midwest. In other words I O W A. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Not Iowa. He did have good intentions-to be closer to family.

MOTHER OF GOD!

2004-10-27T01:53:00.000-07:00

I chopped off my thumb tip while attempting to make dinner for my husband and son. I cook around twice a year....this is why it's only twice a year.
I had an eye appt today to see if I need glasses. You probably forgot, since it didn't happen to you, that I was maced 1 1/2 weeks ago as part of the law enforcement program. While it turns out that the mace caused my cornea to swell so much I can't feel the pain due to the nerve endings not being able to do their job-which is a good thing, right...-I said to the Dr. He said, not really. There is a sort of coating on my eyes from the mace that prevent me to see well and cause "echoing" in my vision. The steroid drops I will be putting into my eyes will cause the swelling to go down-thus the pain to flair up. Great!

2004-10-26T13:14:00.000-07:00

Pretty Pretty BOY

Happy Halloween...

2004-10-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

Here is a funny entry from my other "nicer" blog: http://soybeanadventures.blogspot.com

Sunday, October 24, 2004
'No really...Where's his costume?'

Remember I told you that Nick's Halloween costume was a suprise from Shawn. Well, Shawn called this afternoon from the gaurd base (it's gaurd drill weekend) to let me know that it's trick or treating time at the base today and he's coming home to get Nick & I. Shawn follows me into Nick's room and I hold out Nick's ballerina costume and say, Here it is!Shawn says, "No really...Where's his costume?"I say, "This is it."Shawn says, "No...no....your joking, right."I say, "No, this is it...isn't this going to be funny...you'll laugh later!"Shawn got over it by the time we got half way to the base. Walking around, Shawn introduced Nick as 'Nick the Ballerina' to avoid anyone thinking Nick was a girl. Some still thought he was a she, but Shawn cleared that right up! I don't think Nick minded being dressed up...He mostly sucked on wrapped up candy and he got a mini flashlight, too. Shawn said he gets to pick the costume out next year for Nick.

Cold, Cold Apartment...

2004-10-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

I am dying to book that $338/pp vacation deal for Jamaica! We would leave the day after tomorrow...Come on Mon, What do you say! Let's go to Jamaica. Or Costa Rica. Or Mexico. Or Canada...well, maybe not Canada. They are most likely just as cold as we are in MN. I am freezing. Brrrrrrrrr!

2004-10-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of Nick after his morning nap. More pictures are at: http://soybeanadventures.blogspot.com

Hypocrite.

2004-10-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

Everyone at some point in their lives is a hypocrite and I can admit that I am a hypocrite. If you can't admit it, your only fooling yourself. Am I proud of it...No.
Shawn, I am sorry that I hurt your feelings...I am not sorry about having a crush. It's not wrong to have a crush on someone outside your marriage. It's wrong to act on that crush. Which I will not do. Guess what, everyone has crushes. There are different degrees on crushes. I'll bet, although you'll never admit it now or you'll be-gasp-a hypocrite....you have had a crush at some point during our marriage. Maybe a little one in passing or a huge one. And, that's ok. I love you and I know you love me. That's what matters. Nothing else.

I'm sorry.

2004-10-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

For what it's worth, I'm sorry Shawn.

'Night'

2004-10-25T06:22:00.000-07:00

Another sleepless night.
Laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, I kept thinking about all the stuff I wanted to write down in this blog. Funny jokes-The're funny to me at least.
Here is a disclaimer for my wonderful, sexy, handsome Husband: If you log onto the internet and pull up this site, you can not get mad at anything I write. It's like sneaking and finding a journal. You'll just know. Not be mad or upset, ok.

About Me.

2004-10-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

I started this blog from the suggestion of my husband, Shawn. I already have a web blog mostly pertaining to my son, Nick. Nick's blog is the nicest form of me that you'll find. I wanted a place where no one knows me and I can be myself and say what I really think. I am a 23 yr old wife, mother, student, daughter, sister, friend...Basically I am anyone that you already know. I am everyone and in the same breathe, no one. I've been married for 2 years and 4 months. My teething monster of a son is 7 months old. You can view his blog at: http://soybeanadventures.blogspot.com
I am going to school to be a police officer. My mom is an investigator and so I grew up living with a cop. I know what the job is like, what to expect. Shawn is going to school to be a chemical engenier which takes up a lot of his time and energy. Nick & I get what is left over. Somedays that is enough, other days it is not enough. He also works at Menards and the AirNationalGaurd.