Sunday, December 05, 2004


Sometimes I feel like the worst mom ever.
This evening Nick was crabby. Very very crabby. While making dinner, which requires A LOT of attention on my part, Nick screamed and screamed. I tried to entertain him while making dinner. I didn't do very well. I think he was not feeling well-maybe his teeth? By bedtime, trying to get Nick into his diaper and PJ's, while he screamed and struggled, I broke down and just cried. At least he stopped crying for a minute. I felt like such a failure. And then I noticed his fat lip. He fell forward while crawling on the kitchen floor and crying 10 minutes earlier...AND IT TOOK ME THAT LONG TO NOTICE. I finally reached bedtime. While putting Nick to bed, he was so sweet and loving and let me rock him in my arms for 3 mintues and then we snuggled until he fell asleep. It was the most wonderful feeling. Rocking Nick in my arms, snuggling him, listening to him breathe. I love my son more than anything in this world. It's just sometimes I feel like such a bad mom. And then Nick goes to bed and I feel a wonderful, peaceful feeling.


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